Relational trauma occurs when the people we rely on for safety—parents, partners, caregivers, or close friends—are also the source of deep emotional pain. Unlike a one-time traumatic event, relational trauma is often chronic and subtle. It is often shaped by patterns of neglect, manipulation, betrayal, or emotional unavailability over a prolonged, and developmentally vulnerable period of time.
Because these wounds happen in relationships, they affect how we relate to others throughout life. Survivors of relational trauma may struggle with trust, fear of abandonment, people-pleasing, or intense emotional reactions that feel out of proportion to the moment. Relationships can feel confusing: simultaneously deeply desired and deeply threatening. The triggers are interpersonal, and therefore are often frequent and can deeply impact relational functioning.
One of the most challenging aspects of relational trauma is that it often goes unrecognized. Without clear events to point to, survivors may minimize their experiences, internalize blame, or feel “too sensitive.” They may unwittingly repeat patterns—choosing unavailable partners, over-functioning in friendships, or shutting down emotionally—without understanding why.
Healing from relational trauma takes time, patience, and often professional support. Since the injury occurred in relationships, healing also happens through safe, attuned relationships—whether with a therapist, partner, or trusted friend.
The work may involve learning to set boundaries, reconnecting with one’s own needs and emotions, and building self-trust. It can feel slow and vulnerable—but it’s also deeply transformative.
Relational trauma is not a life sentence. With compassion and support, it’s possible to rewrite the story and experience connection in a whole new way: one rooted in safety, mutual care, and authenticity. Our therapists can help.